The Saga of the Hamsters, or, “Be a girl…please be a girl…you’ll like it...”

The good news is I have my hamsters. The bad news is I may end up with more hamsters than I bargained for.

When I went to the pet shack, there were only two Chinese hamsters in the tank, a bigger browner one and a less big, less brown one with redder eyes, just like on Saturday. I thought to myself disappointedly that they hadn’t got any more in yet. However, I thought I’d check in case my hamsters had been put aside or something like that. So I said to the two teenagers who seemed to be staffing the place that I wanted two the same sex, and they began to catch the hamsters in the tank.

I was fairly convinced that these were the same hamsters that were there on Saturday, but they examined them both and told me they were the same sex. They also dropped one of them from a height of several feet, filling me with horror – falls can hurt Chinese hamsters and you’re really really not supposed to drop them.

So both hamsters are in a cardboard box, awaiting my pleasure. I try very hard to explain that these look like the same hamsters that were here on Saturday, and that the man told me they were different sexes. I’m not sure if I made sense. The teenagers repeatedly insist that they are the same sex, and that they’re sure. I feel confused and unable to express myself; my resistance is eroded.

On my way home with the hamsters, I remembered that Therese, the wife of one of the staff, is or used to be, a vet, so on my return I pleaded for her assistance in (1) checking for horrific fall-related injuries, and (2) scrutinising the poor mites’ genitalia. The good news is, no broken bones. The bad news is, she doesn’t know how to sex hamsters, but is nonetheless dubious about their being the same sex.

The bigger browner one (Hermione) is definitely a girl. The smaller one’s (Lucita/Luke) genitalia look different, though this may possibly be because she is younger. Or a mutant. By the time boy Chinese hamsters are 8 weeks old they have enormous testicles, so it may be possible to tell within a few days. I have scrutinised him/her myself, and I suspect I see the beginnings of testicles, but I cannot know. And s/he wriggles.

So, my troubles are:
- Lucita/Luke might impregnate Hermione while I am waiting and seeing.
- If they are different sexes I will have to take at least one of them back to the shop.
- Probably both, because Chinese hamsters aren’t that sociable and introducing a new one into the tank may well be a recipe for disaster if Hermione/Luke has made it his/her territory.
- Therefore, I can’t let myself get attached to them yet.

I am therefore really quite stressed and distressed by the hamster scenario, and unable to think about anything else. Hence long post about hamster genitalia. Sorry.