Poco a poco*

*Little by little

Learning a language is a very humbling experience. Suddenly you don’t know how to say the simplest things: you struggle to express yourself and are hamstrung by not knowing basic words like ‘maybe’, or ‘after’, or ‘must’, or verb tenses. One is as tongue-tied and lost for words as a toddler, only without the innate language-learning ability.

It’s probably good to be humbled—it usually is, or so we’re led to believe. It makes you appreciate language and communication more, I suppose. It definitely makes me appreciate English, and the ease and grace with which I can express the most complicated things; the beautiful alchemy between just the right words; puns and double meanings and implications.

In the meantime, have been feeling frustrated by the slowness of learning Spanish, and by how much I don’t know. I’ve also been stuck in the beginner’s trap of not knowing enough, and being too shy and embarrassed, to feel like I can practice on people. Which is not at all helpful.

Yesterday I went to Mike’s house for a few hours after work, played cards a little with Norma and her friend (Continental, fun but taxing on the brain), ate, greeted Norma’s brothers and their wives, listened to conversation in Spanish, chatted a little in English to Mike and Norma… and knew I should practice my Spanish.

So I took the plunge, struggling (and asking) for words all the way. And actually, it was great. I could talk about where I live, and what I like about Mexico, and food, and what I studied and even how I felt about it. Everyone was so warm and enthusiastic about my efforts and willing to listen to me, patient with my stumbling sentences and just so fantastically nice. It ended up with everyone saying I should come over every week so I can practice—perfect Spanish and the perfect people, somebody said.

As an aside, I feel the need to once again extol the wonderfulness of Mike. We have so much to say to one another. I can talk with him about how we understand language and get all poetic about emotions and meanings associated with words without feeling silly, or about my feelings and feel like he’s interested and he cares. I’m so lucky to be under his wing.

When I left I couldn’t stop grinning like a lunatic all the way home. Because I had a lovely time with lovely people, but also because I know I can say things and I have the confidence to try, and because I’m excited about learning Spanish and getting better and being able to say more and more. Every new thing I learn at the moment is exciting because it makes a big difference in expanding in what I can express.

In other news, it is Fucking Freezing here. Even more than normal, apparently. There was a frost this morning. So do not be jealous that I am not suffering winter chills. In fact the unseasonable cold may be why I think my Spanish is progressing, because it’s all anyone can talk about, which makes conversations pretty easy to follow!

It is horrendously cold at night and in the morning, and all day in my office and in my house even though outside it’s quite sunny and warm. I have been sitting in my office in five layers (vest, long-sleeved top, two jumpers, hoodie) plus a scarf and armwarmers, with the electric heater on, hugging it for warmth. Really. And in my house I have a heater which makes the space a foot around it uncomfortably hot and fills the rest of the house with the smell of gas and no discernable warmth.

I am clearly a total wuss, weakened by central heating and functional insulation and duvets. And everyone says that the cold must be nothing for me, coming from Britain! The Victorians would be ashamed….