Could I just say...

... I fucking hate answerphones.

I got an email today, having given up hope, saying they would like to interview me for my dream job.

Also, could I call back as soon as possible.

So I called, and got an answerphone, it being after working hours in the UK. And so I left a message, in which I fell over my words because I was so nervous, forgot what I was going to say, and generally made a complete tit of myself.

wOOt.

Afterwards the trembling, then the tears. The first time I saw this job I couldn't sleep for thinking about it. Every time I read the advert again it set my mind racing. I sweated blood into the application. It is a complete one-off and it would be completely perfect for me. In short, I have never been so excited about a job opportunity. When I thought I hadn't been shortlisted I was pretty sad about it, but now that I know have a chance I am utterly terrified.

I never know what my answer would be to the question what's your biggest fear? but i think I've just realised: fucking up.

I shall now be spending the next few days telling myself how completely awesome I am. This does not come naturally.