Saturday, May 24, 2008

Gaaagh, or, a brief rant about the sheer fucking awfulness of Windows Vista

I really, really, really, really hate Windows Vista. I hate it with a smouldering fiery passion and consistent irkedness. My replacement computer, which was the only affordable way for me to get any computer at all, came with it, otherwise you can be sure I would have avoided it with my natural suspicion of any new version of Windows. I'm sure that proper geeks could tell me exactly why I should hate Windows Vista (and yes, yes, I know, but I am not rich enough for a Mac or computer-minded/brave enough to switch to Linux, which I wouldn't know how to fix if it didn't work). I personally hate Vista because it is even more plasticy, patronising and generally awful than XP (I know, who would have believed it possible?). There are many small but shitty careless crapnesses about it, such as the fact that the taskbar is not blue but an ugly dark grey, and cannot be changed (trust me, I spent some time reading forums full of posts by other frustrated users).

However, the thing which fills me with homicidal rage is the lack of control over the sound. In previous versions of Windows you had individual control over the elements of sound going in and out. In Vista there is just a single volume control for the speakers and for the "microphone", which I assume is an irritating, patronising way of saying line in, because I don't have a sodding microphone. There is absolutely no way to access or use wave out, which is the audio feed you need to record streamed (ie real-time) sound from your computer. It is simply NOT THERE. I believe that this is so it cannot be used for illegal purposes, but really if I want to get hold of music without paying for it there are much easier ways. What I want it for is to record BBC radio off the internet via the seven-day listen again service, to talk to me and cheer me up and console me. Currently I want to record an unabridged reading of The Day of the Triffids, for I am deeply fond of Wyndham's "cosy catastrophes", which (I checked) has never been released for sale. And I bloody well CAN'T.

...

Fortunately, it seems that Microsoft hasn't actually disabled this option, only hidden it. I have been saved from an early death from sheer fury by the wonders of the internet, which knows everything. A wonderful person here has the answer:
1. Select sound from the control panel.
2. Select the recording tab.
3. Right click on the background of the tab and choose "show disabled devices".
4. Right click on Wave Out Mix and click enable.
5. Now it should work the same way as Wave Out Mix in Windows XP, allowing you to record any sound your computer makes.

But really it makes me cross that Vista should decide to hide things from me like some kind of smug and hateful nanny. If I didn't know that it ought to exist I wouldn't have known to look for it. Hate hate hate...

[It does sometimes strike me that I should try to let go of my rage, but I wouldn't know where to begin.

Ooh, and I saw this hat recently. I can think of a number of people it would suit, definitely including the ones responsible for Vista.]

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