Tonterías

The boy I want (and adore) doesn't want me. Or rather, he doesn't want to ruin things because we are friends. Which is to some degree a kinder way of saying the same thing. He is probably right but I wish he wasn't.

I am listening to Placebo's "Without You I'm Nothing" on a loop and wondering how I can possibly do any work. Which I realise is overdramatic, but I am feeling rejected and overwhelmingly alone and unequal to carrying on being me.

I want to go home, and I have no idea where that is. Except that briefly I felt like I was there in his arms. Meanwhile I laugh in the face of things and try to stop my face from crumpling, except when no-one's looking, so that we can still be friends.