Zzz

It’s no news to anyone, least of all me, that the timepiece my body clock most resembles is the berserk pocket watch in Alice in Wonderland that gets filled with butter and jam and hit with a hammer… but really, what the fuck is UP with it?

Every day, I am more tired: my muscles ache, I can’t concentrate, I’m desperate to sleep, I feel like a lead doll. Every evening I think, tonight I will DEFINITELY go to bed at a sensible time, and get at least 8 glorious hours’ sleep. Every night, I am somehow reading things on the internet, or trying to keep up my diary, or listening to BBC7, or sorting out washing, or just generally messing about and feeling awake until it’s far too late to get enough sleep, again. (Obviously I am not writing emails or doing other worthwhile and productive things, because although I am wakeful, I am terribly tired, and the minutes and hours trickle spitefully away.) And so it goes…

I can’t really claim insomnia… I have no problem sleeping, I just don’t seem to be able to accustom myself to doing it during normal night-time hours, no matter how tired I am. It’s getting ridiculous: last night I somehow didn’t go to sleep til nearly 4. And today I am overtired, overemotional and not entirely on the correct planet.

Oh well, tonight I will DEFINITELY go to bed at a sensible time…